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hah... shall blog now.. while waiting for the cds to b burnt.. so slow!!!! sian diao.. is there ani button as to copy multiple copies? like sms.. can send multiple msgs... everytime muz re-read the josh groban cd.. v mafan leh.. n oso takes up a lot of time oso!! gt to copy 4 copies of josh groban.. 3 copies of kevin kern.. nt v long lah.. bleah.. n now the burner gt this weird sound!! oh no!!! ahh!!! juz hope nthing happen.. it hanged 1/2-way juz now.. -_-" bleah.... aniwae.. a great thanx to WINI!!! haha.. bold ur name again.. heh.. had a nice time at ur place.. rly enjoyed myself there.. luv the feeling of being ci4 hou4.. haha.. gt wini to help prepare food, take food, take drinks, pour drinks, blah blah blah.. so shuang!! hah.. Fatimah?? or is it another name? can't rly rem liao... my memory is failing me now.. bleah.. aniwae.. yea... lotsa meat today.. so much so tt i cannot eat finish..dun hav to lun luo to eat rice only.. hee...=) n yep.. mahjong session was rather guo yin.. it was ages since i last "swam".. during tt chalet.. haha.. wonder when is the next time i can do some exercise again.. but yep.. manage to win some games.. stupid wr.. took back the card she put down.. juz when i nid tt card to game!! if nt i can win 3 in a row k.. sigh....... last time at chalet oso lidat.. so evil!!! eh xw n wini.. quick quick upload the photos leh.. hee.... wonder when is the nex time we can meet again.. yz now so damn bz wif hc.. hard to find time i guess... sigh.. mayb can forget abt her?? hah.. xw.. i dun mind watching peter pan again.. but choose a $6.50 day? i wanna see peter pan!!!! oh my.. he's so CUTEEEEE!!!!!!! hee.. kk.. guess u guys r sick of hearing tt.. but rly.. u all shd watch the show n see for urself.. bet u all will fa hua chi one.. n zhe.. it's nt me lian tong zhen k.. he nt tt young too wad.. he's 15 i heard.. juz 3 yrs younger.. sigh.. hah.. me cousins n i were so mesmerised by him lor.. even wr oso lor.. heee... go watch go watch.. highly recommended by me!! =P sian.. gt to think of things to tok abt.. still gt so many cds to burn.. zhe.. guess i'll burn ur enigma another day lah.. it's getting late... i'll juz finish wini's cds by tonite.. oh yeh.. SAT.. haha. the most dreaded word i guess.. oh well. think the next rnd we sign up together lah?? think most of us, or shd i say all of us r retaking.. yea?? haha.. toking bout my experience yest.. oh well.. heavy downpour.. how nice!! stood in the rain while queueing up to register lor... n stupid me.. took out my wallet so soon.. n tt card gt smudge... as to wad u all see today.. so damn sad lor.... brooding over it while waiting for the sat test to start.. wad a gd start... oh well.. guess the only gd thing is tt there's this gd looking guy sat bside me.. eye-candy during sat.. got to say.. he gt rly nice nose! v ting3.. n sharp too.. hah.. think nex time we go aec n take lah.. yea? there seems to hav lotsa nt bad looking guys.. haha.. yz saw one too lor.. nt only me. heh... hm.. dunno wad else to write liao.. guess my life is juz so ping dan.. nt much jing bao stuffs.. or cuz kept seeing u all this wk? so gai jiang de yi jing jiang le... but oh well.. muz treasure it.. if nt dunno when's the nex time we can meet up liao... shall juz end here.. going to type a list of the songs in the cd.. for future references. yep. nite pple!! slackanthan scribbled at 1:11 am. zhe zhe scribbled at 3:05 pm. oh well.. today is a nice nice day.. at least we get to go out together for lunch! =) seems quite long tt all of us go out TOGETHER liao.. normally is only a few of us.. n gt pple missing too.. yup. since quite a long time eversince dunno when all of us came out together liao.. yup.. looking forward to our nex meeting.. which is SUNDAY!! haha.. wini... can prepare more meat?? pls?? if u dun plan to muz say earlier leh.. den i'll prepare some on my own.. yea? if nt i rly no nid to eat liao... yep.. aniwae.. i'll scan tt card soon lah.. i'll try to... hee... u all oso muz k?? i wan a copy too... hah.. oh yah.. when u guys free?? feel like going out wif heqi they all.. juz now heqi sms.. saying she miss us a lot.. n i miss her too!! so long nv see her liao.. sigh.. kk.. shall blog a short one only tonite.. HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!! slackanthan scribbled at 1:27 am. zhe zhe scribbled at 10:39 pm. i think...soemhow..this yr i still rathe suey...me n rong went to cut hair again...N can u believe my luck?? the HISTORY repeats itself!!1 rlyl is not pekchey lah!!! so i dun care.. since tmr my bdae oso..decided to have a hair cut oso..i mean..fresh start mah..den i just go to some other salons...damn it..the 1st thing is...the hairstylist is not a gay...so his skills not very gooid...den somemore think he's new...though can c his careful attempt lah..but..ARH~ dono...it's just funny..rly funny...not my type..T_T... n im trying very hard to..salvage the mess...hahhaa..dono lah... yall c for ur self tmr loh...sian diao.. you bi yao near my bdae still liddat...SIAN DIAO!!! hahaaha eh eh... yun n di...best of luck for ur phy tmr!!! hope on my Bthday... yall ll be blessed~~ :) thanx for everything yall have done for me guys! zhe zhe scribbled at 9:49 pm. first thing first.. sorry bout tt blog entry lah.. had wanted to write a proper blog enty to u guys.. but well.. somehow... dunno y.. juz gt too carried away thinking abt the past year.. n thought abt so many depressing stuffs.. guess i shldn't hav wrote tt.. the whole blog seems to b getting depressed now.. sorry sorry.. oh well.. u guys dun hav to blame urself? the problem dun lies wif u all lah.. nt wif u wini.. n oso nt zhe u.. it's juz me i guess... i mean.. to say the truth.. compared to many others out there, or mayb even u guys.. i shd b counted lucky? cuz no matter wad.. i still hav u guys.. n oso i got myself a nice clique too i muz say.. n i noe tt envied many.. but somehow.. i juz kept comparing things wif the past when i noe i shdn't b.. n tt make me feel tt my life still lacks in something.. something which i still haven't found n tt's keeping me feeling depressed all the while.. guess i've juz grown too overly dependent on u guys.. n being away frm u all n being put into another environment juz makes me feel at lost. guess it's time tt i shd learn to grown more independent.. n nt always to constantly depend on u guys to be always there for me, 24/7, though i noe if i really nid u guys.. u all will be there for me.. it's time for me to really grow up. n to wini.. hey ger.. dun ever feel guilty abt it k? cuz it's nt ur fault. it really isn't. in fact, i'm grateful to u sometimes. the jokes tt u cracked tt make me luff n smile, n oso being there wif me to talk about ny whenever i'm feeling nostalgia n oso, grateful to hav u as my fren. so dun zi4 zhe2 urself ok? i'm sorry abt it...... n to zhe.. sorry for making u dig those hurting memories out.. n u too dun hav to feel bad for nt lending me a listening ear. cuz to say the truth.. even if u did, i doubt me myself will disclose much too.. i'm nt those type who will pour out my problems to others, but rather, bottle it all up myself. tt blog entry was juz a case of exception. cuz felt the nid to pour it all out somewhere to get it off my mind.. but guess it juz make u all more distraught. v v sorry!!! oh yah.. dun bcuz of this den dun come find me as ur listening ear liao k? i'll always b there wif u to share ur joy, ur sorrows, n well.. practically everything tt u're willing to share wif me.. yea? but same as zhe.. it's juz a reflection of my feelings last year.. i'm feeling perfectly ok now. guess i've really matured over tt 1 year.. (think it's nt tt bad a year afterall, though i hate the idea of growing up). the year so far had started off nicely. n i'm feeling more cheery these few days. juz hope it'll continue to last. n i dun think i wud hav tt much a time to b depress over stuffs now.. gt to catch up wif my sch work, study for tests (which i'm suppose to b doing now.. gt physics test tml.. bleah), prepare for a camp, ballet exam, dance concert, SAT, blah blah blah.. hope it'll juz take my mind off things n make me look more forward to 2004. yep. once again.. a v big SORRY guys!!! dun worry so much for me k? i'm fine now. yea? n to zhe again: HAPPY BIRTHDAY GIRL!!! so wad do u wan for bdae present? better tell us quick quick k.. dun wanna qian pressent until 13 days b4 ur next bdae den giv... haha... hope tt the new year will b a much better one for u. i'll pray hard for u specially tonite at 12. okie. gotta go study for my phy test liao.. cya guys. luv u all lots.=) slackanthan scribbled at 6:44 pm. haha..ok ok.. guess i have wrote lots of err..a little depressing stuff.. but well..yall relac...i'm feeling perfectly ok now.. it's just a little reflection of..erm..my feelings last yr? hhaa.. ok ok..rest well guys:) zhe scribbled at 7:14 pm. i just hope it's blogger's prob..coz i definitely ll be at a complete stupid loss if it occurs only to my blog...hmm....i RLY noe wat to do lah!! n i DON WAN TO LOSE ALL MY ENTRIES!!...*look ard*..no one online...i mean..no potential helper online now..haiZ..resign to my fate n wait...T_T haiZ...so long nv read new posts...but the new posts are...haiZ...sorry yun.. i mean.. i dono wat do say.. i have been keep bugging u last yr i guess.. i mean.. esp during promos tt time..where the situation for me was the worst.. have been pouring out all my sorrow n rotteness to u... but little did i ever listen to u...i 'm just so sorry abt tt..so very sorry... i'm outcasted by the class.. pple giving me BAI YANs.. u tok to them...they don care abt ur presence...n i rmb how envy i was towards u..i mean..not so much...but how i wish i were in ur class..or rather.. u were in MY class.. it was so bad tt every sch day was a mere torture for me...tot ur situation was better den me.. tot u at least have Di and kaykey they all...but guess i'm wrong..somehow..ur class was worse..overall.. at least most of the pple like our class..i'm the only weird exception den i guess.. till now.. i noe little how n y it happened...tt feeling just suck.. u are in a class n u don feel at all belonged..or rather.. u detest it..hmm..but guess..everyone wans to seek security to the extent of hurting others.. each one was SO afraid of beening outcasted n neglected... tt's the prob with gals man... i just hate gals sometimes.. y cant we be like guys.. or i mean.. y cant THEY be more KUANG RONG towards others? i just wan a simple life..but Y do GALS just make it so diff for me?at times... i had difficulty reasoning out whether I'm the ONLY normal one..or i'm the ONLY paraniod one? but i think i'm just perfectly ok... urgh.. somehow.. i got a feeling i got AP last yr.. i cant even blend in in CHi soc~~ basically Chi soc was almost made up by my class anyway...but actually..i think chi soc was much better than the class..haha.. i dono wad to say... as i read ur post yun... i just got this feeling of staring at myself...digging those hurting memories out...which i had so carefully trying to hide... but now.. as i look back.. it's still a nightmare..but at least.. i feel much better now~ :)... think my class is going to be better.. judging from the 1st day of sch... n at least.. i have somethign to look forward to!! HUANG CHENG!!! think i ll be too busy to worry abt all these now.... n i think..huang cheng can somehow jian li mou xie gan qin ba... i HOPE~...i got this feelign tt 2004 ll be a much much better yr :)...n yun n wen.. it's gonna be OK~~ at most.. u come find me loh yun~~ hahhaa... oh oh..just wanna ask..appt for tt hair salon got charge extra or not huh? i wan to go tmr...but if they tell me go get a appt den i ll yun1 dao3 loh~~...PLS~~ 2004 ll be a good yr for me!! pls don disappoint me!! hahaha zhe zhe scribbled at 7:00 pm. oh yah.. a brand new year.. juz hope it'll b a brand new beginning... 2003 was really the suckiest year i ever had... can't recall much happy stuffs tt happen to me.. guess the happiest time i ever hav is whenever i m wif u all... going zhe's house for huo guo, going out for movies, gd food, the buskers parade, sentosa chalet, n even going out to mug together is oso a happy moment for me.. but other den tt.. i muz say my life really sux! make so many decisions tt i've regretted, finding hard to fit in n feeling out of place, feeling aloof, finding it hard to live up to pple's expectations, serious mood swings, feeling constantly depress n duo chou shan gan, feeling anti-social, mayb suffering frm zi bi zhen too, emotional ups n downs, feeling lonely n lost at times, feeling lathargic when i m nt ( if u noe wad this means), breaking down for no reasons ( guess this is the year i cried the most times, more then i can ever remember), losing my temper, n the list juz goes on n on... wonder if my life cud juz get ani worse.. or is this juz the beginning? mayb this is juz a process of growing up.. something which i m sick of.. kept reminesing (bleah..forgot how to spell) abt our life together in ny.. y can't jc juz b the same? or were the happy days juz gone forever? to think of it.. memories tt i hav of 2001 n 2002 r those happy memories tt we shared.. n surprisingly, i can't find anithing depressing to it.. has it really been tt wonderful a life? or had i juz forgotten all the depressing moments i ever had n let those happy ones overshadow it? i wonder.. once read this quote.. "looking back at our tears will make us smile, looking back at our smiles will make us tear". sounds rather true rite? whenever i think abt 3/2 n 4/2, i can't help but feel a little sad tinge in me.. n sometimes tears will juz start welling up in my eyes. it'll juz remind me of my present oh-so-sad life.. making things worse i guess.. but i juz can't help living in the past.. cuz it's the only nice memories i hav wif me now... n i dun bear to delate these memories frm my mind... hoping to store it there for as long as i can rem. sounds ironic rite? 1 year can really cause a person to change a lot. at least it does for me. sometimes i really wonder if i had change into another person.. someone whom even me myself dun recognise.. guess the environment u're put into, n the pple u mix ard wif really does hav an impact on u, the way u think, n the way u act. u've come to realise tt the world is no longer wad u perceive it to be, and u'll try all ways to protect urself frm it.. n mayb even cowar away frm it.. n try to tao2 bi4 xian4 shi2. every fall i experience, will juz make me hide deeper into my shell. every obstacles i met will juz make me more afraid of this world awaiting for me. juz wonder how can i ever overcome this in the coming year? how can i ever find back my true self. how to? i really dunno.. juz hope tt things will juz fall back in place, n everything wud juz bcome a nightmare frm which i m able to wake up frm.. 2003 is finally over.. n it really had to end wif such a suey day lah.. -_-'' but oh well.. i've long resigned to fate.. no pt hoping tt things will juz go as wad i've wish.. cuz it'll nv happen! tt's juz another thing i've learnt frm the year 2003. to stop pinning high hopes. for the higher u hope, the greater the fall. now all i only wish for is tt 2004 wud b a much better year.. slighly better wud hav been gd too.. i dun ask for much.. hope tt shang tian will grant me this small wish n i wud b very grateful. i really wud. sigh.. guess this blog isn't suppose to end up this way.. but sorry guys.. juz can't help it.. 2003 rly makes me feel all so shitty. tt i really nid somewhere to pour all these crap out. hope i din scare u guys.. cuz i think most of these stuffs u guys wun hav known abt. but well.. since it's a new year, a new beginning, juz hope tt everything will start afresh. for me, for yz, n for u guys out there. slackanthan scribbled at 1:52 am. oh oh...i shall tell yall...the suey things tt happened the last day of last yr..which means yesterday lah~~ haha.. me n yun decided to go out study..but b4 tt..i wanna get a ncie cool hair cut to embrace the new yr~~...buT bUT BUT..I CANT GET A HAIR CUT..coz y? coz i need to get a appointment..y? coz tt day was booked...stupid you qian rens...wana get a haircut for kisiao parites at nite...sian bor!!! tot they just had one for Xmas??? i dui~~ come all the way to orchard in the end got nothing but a whole bag of DUINESS...but tt's not the end...i insist on getting something done coz i bu4 gan2 yuan4~~.. so i say i shall buy a pair of sandles...guess wad..the WHOLE orchard don have sandles!!! i mean all those sports shop..be it large or small...ALL DON HAVE..ok lah..maybe have a few.. like one or two with lousy n guniang designs..buey tahan... den den den... bu gan yuan me asked yun go Queensway..there sure got sandles mah...but we reach rite..all those sandles like shity EX lah...way beyond my budget...like $80 over..rly ll spend so much just on sandles lah..(note: i still have a long list of necessities to buy...sighz)...so we walk here walk dere...with my damn uncomfortable flip flop...finally find oen nice...comfortable sandles for like $36?...but u noe wat? it's the last pair...THANX lah..tt time i wan buy watch oso the last one...what kidn of shit is this?? ok...somemroe it's not in perfect condition...so i sian diao...so i decided to hunt for water bottles...n THANX again..i take a glance at all those cliche nike, adidas..blah ones...i sian dio again...-_-lll...somemore saw lots of nice nice bags for like only 39.30!!!! kill me!!! i shd have bought tt bag!!! i mean... converse bags are rly improving for the better!! some more it's nice loh!! i dui!! y i bought this current bag of mine!!! n it's like..1 mth or so after i bought tt den all these new cool designs coming out...zhen1 de shi4 wo3 bu4 mai3...ta1 bu4 chu1 loh!!!! another wave of duiness...n pekcheyness.. but well...at least...in the very end..bought a pair of sandles for 19.90..rather worth it..but i would still prefer the 36 one..tt one cooler...but well...i die die oso wan buy something back!! u noe..when u were super pekchey~~ since the last day of last yr was meant to so sucky....i oso got nothing much to say... 2003 was just full of dabians~ OH 2004...though i'm not sure what u are going to be like...but...i ll still definitely LOVE u..than tt dabian 2003~ zhe zhe scribbled at 10:29 am. |
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